a rant on some types of pride

"til we find our place... on the path unwinding"

Pride. It’s in meeee! It’s in us all, or most of us. It’s part of the circle of life, I think. Here’ a rant on the some of the different shapes and sizes of PRIDE. Each pride rant first comes with complaints, then a bit of sympathy, because that’s how I do.

1.  Ethnicity Pride
I’m filipino which kind of gives me bashing rights to the following example: There are some breakthrough filipino celebs out there – like that Maria Aragon girl on YouTube who sang “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga. BUT JEEZ, must we make the whole world aware that they’re filipino? YouTuber: “Go filipinos! Filipino pride!”
I understand the reason for the pride. Ethnicity hits home. It’s part of identity, and it’s common ground. But really, I question how much of a role ethnicity actually plays in their success. I so LOL at the comments of other people saying “WE GET IT!” I gave those a thumbs up.
Aaaaand, it even trickles down to celebrities that are a smidgen filipino… so smidgen that if we were cupcakes, they’d have like filipino sprinkles. Enrique Iglesias. He’s 1/4 or something like that. Didn’t know that? Well, now you know!
I’ve seen this happen with other ethnicities, too. Let’s get over ourselves! Thank you.

2.  Grad school Pride
During undergrad, I saw a lot of this.
I plan to do grad school soon but the thought of saying “I’m in grad school (hemhem*)” makes me cringe as it brings back memories of certain people that have said it to me with this air. There are those that for some reason, don’t seem pretentious. I don’t know what they do… maybe it’s the way they declare it.
Of course, this IS something to be proud of. Higher education is very valuable! This one’s a tough kind of pride to overshadow…
* “hem hem” like how the Queen says it.

3.  My-degree-is-harder-than-yours Pride
Dear fellow sciences or engineering students, let us not look down on art students! Yes, science degrees and especially (yes, I said it) engineering degrees are very demanding – just don’t say arts & social science degrees are useless! Degrees exist for a reason. Every field offered in University or College give rise to professions that make the world go round. In fact, also training courses not even offered in post-secondary education DO as well!
One professor did point out that jobs are more in demand for industry, which caters to science and engineering degrees. Many art&social science graduates don’t find jobs in their field. I don’t have stats to reinforce this, but it seems likely from the people I know. This may be one sad truth to this type of pride…
Well, people want to study what they want to study! Let’s quit comparing and bashing. Focus on your own goals.

4.  Profession Pride
Doctor. Lawyer. Manager. Those words are GOLDEN!
I find it funny how it sneaks its way in conversation. Especially with aunts and the like. “Oh, do you know Sylvie? She’s married now… to a DOCTOR.”
Here’s the sympathy part. I believe that professions vary on the degree of dedication involved and the mentioned ones do require some mad skillz. HOWEVER, I do not think it should DEFINE a person, or automatically improve “worth”. This reminds me of a time when my gold-digger cousin visited us with her DOCTOR husband. All my aunts call him DOCTOR! I asked, “Why are we calling him DOCTOR? What’s his real name?” wow, my family definitely kissed his feet alright. And he loved it, which made me not like him.
ps: Sorry to all the doctors out there for using them as an example.  And also to all the med school students and interns out there… as a token, I won’t make a Pride category for you. LOL
pps: This applies except for astronauts. Too cool, too cool.

5.  Defensive Pride
This is pretty much the regular kind of pride we have dealt with.
Sorry.
Is all that you can’t say?
Years gone by and still… 
Words don’t come easily…
Like sorry, like sorry                Baby Can I Hold You – Tracy Chapman
This one’s pretty hard… yet it’s my favourite kind of pride, if I can say that correctly. I like it because it’s the most raw, the very essence of it all. It’s also the one that I find hardest to eliminate.

6.  Hardship Pride
I think it’s the only one that I’ll champion. LGBTQ Pride. Black Pride… Out-of-poverty pride. There’s a historical or humanitarian context. But it should not be blown out of proportion! OK, boisterous gay ppl can. But other than them, no!
Doesn’t this coincide with ethnicity pride? Hmmm… I don’t think so. Maybe waaaaay back when, but these days with the growing worldview and all this mixing and mingling, it’s going to be eventually absurd to even bring up.

In conclusion, we’re vulnerable. As we live our lives, we acquire education, career, family, hobbies, identities –  which we use as SHIELDS. They give us something to be proud about. And when violated, we bring them up.

trend watch: grandparents

ironed.

I love noticing how well dressed some of the grandmas and grandpas are! Sometimes on the bus there are a few that catch my eye. I just admire their sense of style. True to their time, dressed for their age… class.

The grandpas with their ironed slacks, with the pleats redefined.  Their collared shirts tucked in.  Hair neatly combed; hairs evenly spaced out from the teeth of their comb. His trusty watch which told him the time for decades.

The grandmas with rouge on their cheeks. Their hair neatly in place with a barrette if their hair is longer. Or curls from a recent perm from last month (which their next appointment is already a booked!). Colour-coordinated from head-to-toe. Shoes free of dirt, most likely wiped with a rag right when they walk in the door if sullied. Jewellery with meaning.

It’s such a delight to see. You can feel the care. It’s so friggin cute.

curfew and asking permission

what time are you coming home?

Still with the parents and ya, I still have a curfew. An indirect one, though. It’s around 11 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Anything past that, and it might be a problem. Or when I come home during those times, I should have a “reason”. I used to get so angry about it, but I just deal. Or maybe I just gave up: OK OK I get it, your house, your rules.  I do save a lot while living at under your precious home, dear parents.

The only thing I don’t like are the reasons behind it, mostly by my dad.
–  It’s not YOU who I don’t trust, it’s the WORLD!
–  Unlike your brother, you’re not going to come home PREGNANT!
oooh, I hate that one. My brother’s 19. And who says he won’t get some other girl pregnant?! I try to speak with elders about this and they just simply say, “It’s because you’re a young girl. That’s just the way it is.”

There are plenty of reasons why it IS the way it is. Immigrant parents (well, my dad LOL) are so set on their ways, that you just surrender. So for those who just fought with their parents about this, just do as they please. It won’t kill you. And when WE live our own lives aka move out, we will have our fair share of fun times. lol

Oh yes, the permission part of this entry. I want to go clubbing tomorrow for like TWO frikkin hours, and be home for 2. Sometimes it just slips me: I ASK permission! “Dad, can I go (insert location) with (insert friend’s name, and add how you know her, keyword: her). I’ll be home at (insert time before 2 am)”
[Then I add a reinforcement (optional, depending on their mood) like “It’s for a birthday party! :S”]
Wow, I feel like I’m 14. I think the right way to do it, especially at my age, is TELL THEM, not ASK THEM. And if they have anything against it, let’s begin a discussion. I really don’t think I should be “asking” and I really don’t think I deserve a “No. Absolutely not.” from them. But sometimes, it just slips and I ask for my freedom.

Which leads me to this: it’s very important how we speak to our parents. Because they see us as babies, we feel like babies. And when we feel like babies, we act like babies.  Am I going in circles? Anyways, I’m going clubbing tomorrow, and don’t worry, I’ll be back at 2 – on the dot. 1:30 for bonus points.

being 30 means you’re 25

i got this!

I’m 24 now. Growing up, I didn’t feel what I thought I’d be feeling. When I was younger, the thought of me being 24 – I had these visions of myself being a career WOMAN, buying a house, be in some serious relationship, calculate expenses with a breeze, and just got it under control. But really, I still feel slightly weird calling myself a woman! I seriously did have visions of myself talking with a realtor though.

ONE OBSERVATION that I find eerie: when I was younger, I thought people who were graduating high school looked SO old! Then when I myself finished high school, I look around and see how young we still looked. I thought it was a perspective thing. “That’s because I was younger then. It looked different.” But I look at the graduating class pictures on the walls of my high school one day when I came back to vote (it was a voting centre during the elections) – and kids back then DID look WAY older. Maybe it’s because facial hair was more in? I thought about it, I really did. I examined the facial features, sizes… kids look so much younger these days!

And here I am feeling much younger than I really am. Is there a physiological transformation to accompany this mentality shift? Is it our diet? The environment? If I were to quantify this shift, I’m going to say that there’s a 5-year gap. Hm, ya I could say that I feel like I’m still 19 at 24.

So here I am. I’m done my undergrad, I’m now working a “real job”… I sometimes feel like a board game marker, just hopping from square to square because that’s what you … just do.

what girls do

k, I think she's hot.

I think many guys still want this young innocent, charming and sweet, helpless and vulnerable GIRL that also happens to wear the hottest provocative clothes from “what girls do” store like Guess. But while at the same time, act like she has nooo clue how hot she is. Isn’t that strenuous to the brain? This is one answer why those hot girls tend to be kind of coocoo and are super emotional. It’s because she has to focus on looking hot, and innocent at the same time, giggle at stupid stuff, and on top of that, find ways to ask for your help when I think deep down, she can do it herself, and on top of that – STRIVE to do all of that! Sorry, run-on sentence. Is it a fantasy? Sometimes I don’t realize it but as a girl in her 20s, it can be EXTREMELY difficult to totally clear your mind from all these hints and cues on being some sexy kitten for guys to woo over.

It really sucks! Like the other day, I was walking across a lingerie store and I see those huge ads of a model in some candy looking stuff, with this expression like “Oops, I droppped something” or something like that. But think about it, the 2 seconds you look at it, it sends you a message, whatever that may be. And what gets me puzzled is I think “OMG, she looks HOT” ugh… I sold out LOL.
It’s everywhere, and I admit I am very much a part of it. I wear volumizing mascara to make my eyes “pop”. I go on diets to try to fit into a size 4 someday. Deep down if I really dig and dig to the very core, it’s a sign of weakness and defeat. I am insecure enough to want to compete. I even think deep down, succumbing to all of this means that “I think this is how I will be appreciated”. Yikes, it’s sad, really.

On the upside, I’m not totally crazy into these trends. I do strive to be free from it. For example, I have really boring tastes in shoes. It has to be functional, and I really don’t care if it’s not fire engine red stilettos with spikes on the heel. (sigh) regardless, I’m still into this stuff.

I wonder… I like fashion and I really do see it as an art. But if you still want to be fashionable yet not look too sexy, you have to go avante-garde in your way of dress. Or be that edgy conservative look. It requires a bit of creativity. And also what comes with it is that half of the guys won’t really check you out. Or if they do, they’ll either
a) say “cool outfit” and typecast you as “Yeah, she’s alright.” or
b) they will say “OMG, nice outfit!” and most likely don’t swing your way.
OK, I lie, there are some guys that can appreciate a thoughtful outfit and also think of you as super attractive without baring skin… but tell me, WHERE ARE THEY?

group gathering observations

hilarious.

Do you notice that when you go out with a group of friends who pretty much know each other, let’s say from University, that together as a whole, a new persona appears? Almost each and every one of them turn on their inner actor that was casted for a social scene.

Also, it seems that everyone wants to create these pictures showing that that night was immense fun, but really it wasn’t. Why can’t peole accept the fact that group outings can just be OK. And that is totally fine.

People laugh hysterically for no reason. If you watch them carefully something happens… the laughter stops almost immediately. I swear! Try it. Some people really do have this actor identity. I sometimes wonder if they’re thinking: “Did someone say something witty? Gotta laugh! *cue to laugh* Gotta schmize with my eyes! Is it over? Ok, focus on looking hot. *serious face*”
It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the thought process involved.

And after this three-hour session… the next day, you log on to facebook and there you have it. Pictures that look like it was the best outing EVER! LOL it’s such an amazing phenomenon. But really, it was just ok. What I got from the night were updates from people’s everyday lives: I learned that someone’s boyfriend has to drive an hour back home, that someone has an early shift next Monday… then I watched people laugh hysterically at some comment that I can’t even remember.